The Sensitivity Doctor

ADHD & Life Expectancy: Unpacking the Truth and Finding Hope with Dr. Jessica Stern

Episode Summary

In this eye-opening episode of The Sensitivity Doctor, Dr. Amelia Kelley is joined once again by returning guest Dr. Jessica Stern to break down a headline-grabbing UK study linking ADHD to shorter life expectancy. With clarity, compassion, and deep expertise, Dr. Stern helps unpack what the research really means—and why there’s reason for hope. Together, they explore the nuanced relationship between ADHD and health outcomes, highlighting how untreated ADHD—not the diagnosis itself—can lead to increased risk factors like cardiovascular disease, substance use, and burnout. They also discuss the critical importance of early diagnosis, access to appropriate treatment, and how loved ones can offer support without fearmongering. Dr. Stern and Dr. Kelley dive into key lifestyle and mental health factors that can support longevity for those with ADHD, including attending regular health checkups, reducing impulsive behaviors, addressing co-occurring conditions, and understanding the power of executive function tools tailored to individual needs. Whether you live with ADHD or love someone who does, this conversation is packed with insights that replace fear with empowerment—and offers practical ways to navigate the diagnosis with hope and confidence.

Episode Notes

Key takeaways:

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Episode Transcription

 

​[00:00:00]

Hello, and welcome back to the sensitivity doctor. This is Dr. Amelia Kelly, your host. And today I talked to one of my favorite, brilliant women, Dr. Jessica Stern. She is a clinical psychologist and I met her on XM radio, the psychiatry show where we unpacked all different things about ADHD.

And today we had a really. Interesting conversation about a pretty scary article that just came out. If anyone has seen it, it is talking about the impact of ADHD and mortality. And so So everyone here can get the right, accurate information. We took a deep dive into this article and the thing I love the most about this episode is that I think you're going to leave feeling empowered rather than fearful [00:01:00] about your potential diagnosis or the diagnosis of someone that you love.

So I hope you enjoy this episode and that you find the level of empowerment and comfort and ideas and ways to prioritize your health while living with ADHD. Enjoy.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** So I'm thrilled to have you back. it's fun. I feel like we get to kind of like bounce back and forth between each other's offerings in the world. So, happy to have you back.

And so you and I were just touching base about a recent UK study, a huge one that highlighted that adults with ADHD might have a shorter lifespan. So let's just dig in, like what are your thoughts on this and how can we help people navigate the findings?

 

**Jessica Stern:** Yeah, so I think unsurprisingly this research study might present with some information that might be scary for people to see and to hear. So the good news is that this is actually [00:02:00] not New completely, in the sense that we've already had research like this done, particularly by Dr. Russ Barkley and some other folks in previous years.

 

I think it was just studied in a little bit of a new way, so it made a splashy headline. And naturally, I think the headline is scary for a lot of folks, because seeing ADHD can shorten a lifespan seems absolutely terrifying. I think there's a lot of good news in this, which when we break down the study and its findings, I think we can find that actually a lot of what was found in the article can promote a lot of hope for people.

 

And so I'm really happy to break it down for people to understand what are some of the areas that are a little bit frightening about it and what are the ways in which we can Find solutions to help people mitigate any potential risk and also potential fear that they might have about this. So, I think there's a lot to learn from this article and I'm [00:03:00] happy to discuss it.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Yeah. Let's do it. So the article, I think one of the reasons that it felt so splashy to me at least, was because of the sheer size. Of it, it, it gave me not quite to the extent of the ACE study where it.

 

was hundreds of thousands, but you see the number 30,000 participants, and it's just, it gets your attention.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Absolutely. And I think that the fact that it's such a big study and that there are so many participants adds a lot of scientific value to it, so there's a lot of integrity in the data and we know that Typically, larger populations in studies suggest more meaningful data. We can extrapolate experiences a little bit better.

 

So in that sense, it's a good thing that it's such a large population. But naturally, because it's such a large population, that means that the magnitude of the findings is going to feel and is [00:04:00] So much greater. And so I think that, I totally agree with you. That's what's I think so terrifying to people.

 

Especially because this is now not the first study. Again, they studied it a little bit differently. Statistically, they looked at it a little bit differently. But because now there is sort of a collection of studies on this topic, it's starting to feel more and more real for people where people are sort of saying to themselves, Oh shoot, this is a big issue for people who have ADHD or have loved ones with ADHD.

 

Naturally, they're going to start to panic about this. It's scary.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** So let's bullet point it then, if we can. What would you say are the main points of the findings? And then we'll get into what can be done and, and why conversations like this and treatment and all of this is the an the antidote really, but what would you say are the main findings then?

 

**Jessica Stern:** Absolutely. So the TLDR of this article, if you [00:05:00] will, is

 

**Amelia Kelley:** What is TLDR?

 

**Jessica Stern:** Oh, it's basically like the summation. I guess that's what the young kids say when they're trying to sort of like summarize or sort of provide the

 

**Amelia Kelley:** To what does this stand for?

 

**Jessica Stern:** I feel like I'm going to potentially misspeak. So I'm showing that I'm not as young as the people who came up with TLDR. But basically, exactly the spark notes version is, and then I'm going to work it backwards, is that the research found that individuals with ADHD tend to, on average, have a shorter lifespan.

 

So when you see that, you're like, Oh, goodness gracious. That sounds terrible.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** the numbers did the numbers I saw nine years for women and seven years for men.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Yep.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Okay.

 

**Jessica Stern:** yes, yes, and they earmarked, the researchers earmarked a couple of pretty significant factors. that promote this, which we'll talk about, and then also looked at some of the different consequences that [00:06:00] come from ADHD or, spoiler alert, lack of treatment in ADHD that then lead to premature death.

 

And so they looked at a variety of psychosocial factors. Psychosocial factors are factors that are related to both psychological and psychiatric health. But then also. lifestyle factors, factors in the life around you. And then also some more specific medical different factors that impact people on a health level.

 

And so, they were very comprehensive in the way that they studied individuals and again, like you mentioned, this study was in the UK, where they have access to a lot of information about people's life, people's health, demographics. And so they were able to pull a lot of information, which we know scientifically is helpful.

 

The more information you have, the more you can account for different factors that might be impactful. And then also silence some of the [00:07:00] factors that are potentially noise and might bias the research. And so it was a very comprehensive study, which is, I think, another reason why it was so splashy because It looked at a lot of different things and theoretically found a lot of different things.

 

I think the good news is that the things that it found are things that we can actually use to mitigate some of the risk, which is good news.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Right. So, a couple things that stood out to me, like if I was going to kind of, you know, list things on my fingers that stood out, uh, things around impulsive or reckless behavior was one thing. So, maybe we can unpack these different things. Substance use. Sleep. Which is one that I would love to try to unpack because that one felt a little bit Less empowering to me because it felt really hard like that felt like a really hard one especially when you look at the fact that the [00:08:00] ADHD brain doesn't normally REM quite as deeply as a non ADHD brain, so there was that and then It also was a little bit vague in kind of some other health outcomes.

 

And so Yeah, I don't know where you would wanna start with those kind of, I guess, main risk factors, and if there's any I'm missing, please remind me.

 

**Jessica Stern:** They looked at socioeconomic status. They looked at the related factors to that. So things like, Job status, employment status, and some of those other things. I think that, before we dive in, one of the important things to understand about this study is that You can't really look at any of these factors in isolation.

 

And this is true about health in general, this is true about psychiatric functioning in general. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing. I think the bad aspect of it, the difficult aspect of it, Is that it's much [00:09:00] harder to target one specific thing, check it off the list and say, okay, I resolved this and let's move on to the next thing.

 

Because they're so intertwined, but the good news is that there can also be a positive domino effect. And so if you target one specific factor, oftentimes you'll see almost an afterglow on some of the other factors. So I just want to put that disclaimer out there for people to sort of consider and eventually reconcile as they're processing this information.

 

I think one of the Probably most important things, at least in my perception of this research or this type of research, is that we know that ADHD has a high comorbidity rate with other conditions, both psychiatrically and medically, which means that conditions can hang out together. If you have one thing, you're more likely to have another thing.

 

And this is true for other things aside from ADHD. We know this is true for depression. We know this is true for cardiovascular disease, but we know that if you have ADHD, you are at higher risk [00:10:00] for other types of things like anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, other types of neurodivergence like autism.

 

And so. So, those are some of the other risk factors that might lead to things. The way I would sort of capture this research for people to think about it is, in some cases, some of the factors that you'll see are ADHD leads to this, and then this leads to death. However, that's not really the way it works is usually it's ADHD leads to this, this leads to this, this leads to this, which then leads to death.

 

So there are a lot of intermediate steps that I think are important to consider and again, this gets back to what I was saying a couple moments ago about how a lot of these factors are deeply intertwined. The first one, like I mentioned, is the comorbidity one, and so there's the psychiatric comorbidity, like anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, et cetera.

 

Then there's the other health conditions, like cardiovascular [00:11:00] disease and others. I think they looked at diabetes and some other factors as well.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** So, wait, can I pause you for a second? Cardiovascular disease and ADHD

 

**Jessica Stern:** yeah.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** and diabetes and ADHD.

 

 

 

**Amelia Kelley:** why are those connected?

 

**Jessica Stern:** So the diabetes piece, I'll be honest, I'm not entirely certain. I haven't actually seen a lot of research on this, so I'm not, that's I think an area worth diving in deeper.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** You know, my, my little like hypothesis brain is thinking, okay, so if you're dopamine sensitive, are you going to be more likely to be more intolerant to swings of your blood sugar and more likely to reach out for sugary foods or maybe potentially dopamine driving sweets and snacks, which can potentially drive type two diabetes.

 

This is me just postulating. I don't know.

 

**Jessica Stern:** I think that sounds like wonderful postulation.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Okay, well, there

 

we go.

 

**Jessica Stern:** good [00:12:00] sense. I think that's a very good way of thinking about it. I will be very honest though with listeners and say I'm not certain about

 

**Amelia Kelley:** We're just, yeah, we're just contemplating.

 

**Jessica Stern:** disease I have a little bit of a better sense of and

 

**Amelia Kelley:** interested in that

 

**Jessica Stern:** So I think there are a couple of features here, and again, this is not an area that I am super expert on, however, I have some information that I think might be compelling and interesting for people to process.

 

There's a couple pieces here. One is, and I'm going to be very careful in what I'm about to say because I think this is momentarily going to scare some people, but I want you to listen very carefully, is people who are on stimulants, which is a lot of people with ADHD, are theoretically at greater risk for cardiovascular disease because stimulants, can increase blood pressure for people.

 

Now, before anyone decides, hey, I'm never gonna take my Adderall or my Vyvanse ever again, this is not a concern for all people, and if it's well managed, it's not a concern for [00:13:00] most people. So, if you're concerned about this, please just speak to your prescriber. They are probably doing this very, very carefully in sort of management of your cardiovascular health.

 

So,

 

that's

 

**Amelia Kelley:** would a well managed, let's say hypothetically, someone is saying my medication is not working, I need an increase, and they want an increase, yet you have that, you're kind of met with that existential question of do I want medication that helps my executive functioning and makes my life easier? Or do I run the risk of maybe increasing issues with my heart?

 

And then also looking at folks who are even on medication who still also use caffeine in addition. Like, how does someone make those, how do you even contemplate or navigate that kind of decision?

 

**Jessica Stern:** So that's an excellent question, and I would say that's really ultimately up to your prescriber to help you [00:14:00] do. So what I would say in a circumstance like this is, first of all, to be really frank with your provider, if you're concerned about this, a strong provider should start any prescription regimen, regardless of whether it's a stimulant or an SSRI or anything like that.

 

Collecting a very thorough background history of your health conditions and also any family health conditions, family history. So if you have family history of cardiovascular disease, that is something that should be known to your prescriber and hopefully they asked you that question, that intake. If you have concerns about any of these things, please speak up, and this is true for any concerns you have, regardless of whether it's cardiovascular disease or otherwise.

 

Speak up to your prescriber and there are certain things that are easy, low threshold, low hanging fruit factors that you can utilize to help you manage this. One is just measuring your blood pressure semi regularly with a cuff that you have at home. And If you talk to your prescriber, they can help [00:15:00] you identify what are some of the appropriate forms of measurement to monitor your cardiovascular health.

 

That's one piece. But to your question, which I think is an awesome question, and I think probably one of the biggest, most meaningful, and most asked questions that we get all the time is the risk benefit analysis of any medication that you're on. Because, naturally, most medications, regardless of whether it's a stimulant or not, are going to bring out some side effects.

 

And so the question is, at what threshold do you decide that the risks start to outweigh the benefits? And if it's coming to something like your cardiovascular health, you're going to obviously want to be careful. And just really pay close attention. The thing is, and this is where it gets tricky, but also helpful, I think, is that some people look at this and say, Okay, well stimulants increase blood pressure, so that means that they're bad, right?

 

And the answer is not necessarily, because for a lot of people, if they don't [00:16:00] take their stimulants, they actually become more anxious because they're not getting things done. And that can also raise your blood pressure. And so taking a stimulant actually can reduce your anxiety and actually, theoretically,

 

**Amelia Kelley:** does it work? Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Which is why there's no one simple solution and answer. And so, you ultimately need to get really comfortable with understanding your own mechanics, both biologically and psychologically,

 

and to be able to have that discussion meaningfully with your prescriber to understand, is this actually serving me well?

 

on average, is it, is it providing value or not? And that's where a lot of this takes a little bit of time and finesse to be able to understand how to measure whether it's worth it or not.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** So, it's not that, and we haven't even gone through each of the bullet points quite thoroughly, but it's not that having ADHD [00:17:00] is necessarily bad for longevity, but it's all of the lifestyle and secondary factors. That when unmanaged can deeply impact it. I did find it remarkable but not.

 

completely shocking that women were even more impacted. what are your thoughts on that?

 

**Jessica Stern:** So you just captured the answer. That's ultimately the answer that I think this article serves with. Which is that, and I'm so glad you said it. You said it exactly the way I would have said it, which is that it is not actually ADHD that decreases lifespan. It is unmanaged ADHD that can increase mortality and morbidity.

 

And so if you manage your ADHD in a way that is efficient and effective,

 

You actually likely will be okay and just fine and meet the standard average age of lifespan. It's really ultimately untreated ADHD [00:18:00] symptoms that can promote some of these concerns that the researchers have found. And so that's where I think the highlight is.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** I wonder if it's also secondary, like you were saying, secondary health concerns, because I think about, for instance, my spouse who has much more, on the spectrum, much more severe ADHD, and then whatever neuro spice I am and, and so I am kind of constantly on top of him. Have you gone to your checkups?

 

Have you made your appointments? Even something like being able to navigate the executive functions to do things like get out and prioritize your health seems like a huge catalyst for whether you get to live your full lifespan or whether this impacts that. Mm hmm.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Exactly. And that's another thing that they touched on, which is that ultimately, unfortunately, people who have [00:19:00] ADHD that's not so well managed, they might not regularly attend all of their important checkups, whether it's with their PCPs, maybe their cardiologists, even their dentists, their psychiatrists, whatever it might be.

 

So they're not attending all of their follow up care, which can be preventative. in terms of just important things to take care of in, in your health in general. And then there are a variety of other factors as well, but ultimately that's another piece too, is that people who aren't necessarily addressing some of the ADHD symptoms or might not be aware of ways in which they're impactful, is it can impact the preventative measures that are important for health and longevity.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Right. So how do you think maybe potentially early diagnosis plays a role in longevity and also it brings up this question that every time I ADHD, one of the most common questions I get asked is, are we over diagnosing? [00:20:00] As a society, you're, you're kind of nodding like, yup, been there, answered that question before.

 

And to me, it almost feels like this article is reinforcing the importance of identifying the ADHD in, in people. And also I can't help but wonder, does it matter? and this is going to sound a little off, but. Does it matter? Does it have to be an on off switch? You know, does it have to be, well, you have to be really severely ADHD to qualify having the diagnosis and now you get to worry about your longevity.

 

versus You meet some of the criteria.

 

It's probably a good idea to go get this checked out because it could be good for your health

 

**Jessica Stern:** Yes, to everything that you just said.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** I'm so curious what your thoughts are on that

 

**Jessica Stern:** Absolutely. So to break that down, so the first point that you said is the importance of early diagnosis. This is where I think [00:21:00] early diagnosis and early intervention is really important because the earlier you're aware of these, the more you can come up with compensatory strategies and lifestyle habits that mitigate risk in sort of the mid and long term.

 

which can significantly reduce the risk. So that's always a good thing. To your question, which we all receive, which is why I was smiling, of is it, exactly, is ADHD overdiagnosed? My answer always is yes and no. The yes part of it is that I think that particularly with social media, So many people are seeing information on TikTok about ADHD, then they're maybe going to a potentially unqualified provider, or maybe they're going to their general GP, and GPs, primary care providers, are wonderful and are some of the most important people in healthcare, and at the same time, a lot of them are not qualified to make ADHD diagnoses.

 

So, [00:22:00] Sometimes, and I don't want to blame PCPs at all, like I said, I actually think they're extremely important for healthcare and society. But sometimes providers are slapping on an ADHD diagnosis without actually doing a full assessment. And so if people come into their office and say, Hey, I saw this Tik Tok, I think I have ADHD, and then sort of list three of the things that like that particular person or influencer said, then there's a little bit of a confirmation bias where they might receive a diagnosis that they don't quite have.

 

On the flip side, I still do think that for a lot of people it is being underdiagnosed. And so a lot of people are compensating either just fine or they're struggling, quote unquote, just fine. And what I mean by that is that they don't realize that they're struggling and they don't realize what life could be like with a diagnosis.

 

And so they're not pursuing an assessment. And so I still think the answer is yes and no. I think the underdiagnosis is decreasing, so I think it's, the averages are sort of closer to what they actually are. But that's, that's my, the short [00:23:00] of it.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Which the average now do you know what the current statistics are? Because I do feel like it's been shifting.

 

**Jessica Stern:** it has been shifting. I am a little bit hesitant to quote it because I have seen a variety of different numbers

 

**Amelia Kelley:** And sometimes you see a span of like five percent. Like, that's millions of people.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Exactly, exactly. And it varies depending on what age range it's being looked at. So the age range in children looks different than the age range in adults. And it also varies obviously by country and all that kind of stuff. And so it's a little bit tricky, especially because a lot of the research is working really hard to differentiate it between other things.

 

And. This is perhaps another, another episode's worth of topic, but there's now this question of ADHD versus slow cognitive tempo, which is like another operative diagnosis. That's not a diagnosis yet, but people are doing research on. And so there's a lot of like development in terms of research, in terms of trying to understand this.

 

And [00:24:00] so I'd say like, stay tuned.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Yes, please. We'll have her back. You know, it does kind of make sense, though, when you look at the underdiagnosis in women and the fact that the research was showing that women's On average, lifespan could be impacted by two full years

 

and also, I mean, have you seen lately and I've certainly seen an uptick of conversations about autoimmune disorders, chronic pain and women because of women taking on a lot or ignoring their own needs.

 

And I'm wondering in your opinion, if that plays a role in the longevity being different for women than men. Just based on the research.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Yeah, I think absolutely. I think what's interesting too, is that over the last number of years there's been a lot of research that has shown that many women are also pursuing. Different lifestyles, particularly as it relates to the [00:25:00] work life balance between pursuing more full time careers and also being parents and things like that.

 

And so there are trends that are different there, which is why we know that actually burnout is increasing for women because maybe they're being full time parents and also full time employees. And so that shift is changing and ultimately I think that shift can also impact ADHD because if women are doing so much more these days.

 

Naturally, that's going to exacerbate a lot of the stressors related to ADHD and burnout and sort of both of those in, in terms of their relationship. And we know that that type of stress is also just in general going to impact physical health, including things like pain and, and other things.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Oh, people will have to stay tuned for our episode on burnout because now I have a sub question for that one. So, all of this to say, early intervention, early diagnosis, and taking care and treating ADHD is important. So, the million dollar question, What do you think [00:26:00] are some of the most important strategies or things that people can be doing and what should they be prioritizing?

 

We, we almost touched on them in, in my opinion, kind of like from a negative standpoint of what, what are you not doing enough of? So, what would you tell listeners if they're, if they're, you know, curious and, or concerned about this, this is something they can do to empower and do today?

 

**Jessica Stern:** So, this is an excellent question. I will say that there is not a one size fits all, but I can give you an answer. Part of why there's not a one size fits all is because we know that there are three different presentations of ADHD. Predominantly an attentive type, predominantly hyperactive impulsive type, and then combined type.

 

And so ADHD is going to manifest a little bit differently from person to person. So some of it's going to depend on how ADHD is impactful to your life. So what I would say is take a step back, zoom out, observe your life and ask your question, yourself this question of where is ADHD impacting my life as best as possible?

 

And you can even

 

ask [00:27:00] as answer that question as best as possible.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I was like, ooh. Where is a ADHD Helping

 

**Jessica Stern:** That too. And if you're not entirely sure you can ask a trusted loved one or someone in your life that you respect their opinion of you might find that it is impacting your ability to be planful. It's impacting your ability to focus, which is increasing. Stress, you might find that it impacts your relationship, and we know that relationship stress can impact longevity.

 

That's something I also talk a lot about. I know that we've done talks and chats together about ADHD and relationships. And then also in terms of physical health and just wellness in general is where is your ADHD impacting your ability to be preventative in terms of your health care. So are you going to your doctor's appointments regularly?

 

Are you taking your medications regularly? Are you following through on healthy lifestyles? Something we very briefly touched on or teased about, but haven't really spoken about is we know that ADHD [00:28:00] can lead to a potential increase in substance use. So smoking marijuana, drinking, tobacco, other types of drugs, all those types of things.

 

So if this is true of you, obviously to be mindful of that, that was a huge part of the longevity research that was done. So to kind of take a look at some of these things, like where is ADHD most impactful? Some of these things might not be obvious that they are linked to ADHD. So for instance, substance use, a lot of people don't realize that it can be linked to ADHD.

 

Just take a step back and say, where is my life not functioning optimally? And like, where is there a little bit of room to grow then from there? To utilize various different strategies and so something I do a lot of is cognitive behavioral therapy for ADHD Which is where we talk a lot about executive functioning.

 

We talk a lot about self criticism, self esteem, ways in which ADHD interacts with Anxiety, things of this nature. So to kind of [00:29:00] really shore up your skills there If appropriate for you to consider a medication whether it's a stimulant or a non stimulant, because there are also non stimulants for ADHD use as well.

 

And then just making sure that you're really following up on your healthcare plan in general. And from there, I think you'll start to see the pieces fall into place and hopefully kind of continue to get that train rolling.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** couple of things I really love about what you were saying was, well, first and foremost, it's, it will be different for everyone. So if, say, I was almost envisioning if someone had like a pie chart or maybe like a list and you just list off different areas of life. You could probably find like a values list or something somewhere like family, home, health, spirituality, whatever creativity.

 

And then if you can kind of identify in those areas. where you're most struggling related to your ADHD and then have it no longer [00:30:00] just be, I need to manage and improve these things because I have ADHD and because this is a struggle and because I have issues and because I just need to be better at, you know, adulting or living or whatever, and instead reframing it.

 

To this is actually for my health and this is for my my longevity and my you know vitality like I can see how that and if we look at the fact that people with ADHD are More motivated when something is a little bit more of a crisis Just kind of using that as a trigger point to be like, you know Writing a list sounds boring. Writing a list and knowing that it's actually going to help with my cardiovascular health because that's part of my longevity piece of having ADHD. Gee, I'm a little bit more likely to write a list now.

 

I could see that being really like a good [00:31:00] motivator to reframe it that way.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Absolutely. I mean, something that I always say, regardless of whether it's ADHD or otherwise, is whenever you want to change a habit is ask yourself, what is your why power? Why do you want to do that? Why is that important to you? Because if you can connect to the rationale behind that behavior change, you're much more likely to execute on it.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Absolutely. Right. If there's a deeper purpose, essentially.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Exactly.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** So if we were to give people, you know, one last kind of thing to consider or think about with this article, if you've not read it, we will put it in the links so you can go give it a, I must say, give it a listen, give it a read,

 

You know, make the, make the call for yourself.

 

But the, the one thing that we didn't really talk about that I think can be really hard is if you're reading the article or listening to this episode and you are not the one with ADHD. But you have a loved one with ADHD and you don't exactly get to [00:32:00] make all the choices for them, even with children.

 

Sometimes they're going to be resistant and they will grow up and become their own adults. How can someone listening find comfort or peace or the ability to grapple with this if they don't get to take charge of what that person does for their health?

 

**Jessica Stern:** Yeah, what, that is very much a struggle. What I would say is you might be tempted to just shoot over that article and be like, Hey, I'm scared for you. Do something about it. Right. Which we know is not necessarily going to go over so well with some people, depending on the relationship you have with said person, you might be able to send over that article and say, this makes me a little bit worried.

 

Is there anything that you think you can do to bolster your health? However, that might not always be possible. The other person might not be receptive. And so what I would say is, if that's not the nature of your relationship, or if that person is not there yet, I wouldn't necessarily fear monger and send this article over cold to them.

 

But I might say, [00:33:00] hey, I'm just checking in about the ADHD. And if it's a young kid, you might have to obviously alter the conversation to be developmentally appropriate. But say, there are certain things that I'm worried about in terms of your health. In terms of your lifestyle, and I think you have awesome skills to be able to manage it.

 

Is there anything that you're doing that we can feel confident in that you're taking steps towards? And then sort of open the conversation gently to them. So to give them an opportunity for them to tell you what they're doing well, or what they're hoping to work towards, and then if they're amenable to feedback from you, to potentially giving them ideas and sourcing inspiration for them.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** I love that so much because it's, it's leading with care and curiosity, but at the end of the day, empowering them, which really is, the most foundational way for anyone with ADHD to make a change is their own confidence in making that change makes it so much more likely it will stick and that it will be a long term decision, a long term thing.

 

Mm hmm. [00:34:00] And you know, I was kind of thinking too, if you're in a cycle with a relationship and you're constantly stressing each other out because you're stressed out about your health, that's not.

 

helpful

 

either. No. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much, Jessica, for unpacking this article. I don't know.

 

Listeners don't know. We had a completely different ADHD topic we were going to talk about. And when my group and I read this article and we all had very visceral emotional responses to it. I kind of just sprung it on you and said, can we unpack this? And I'm just so grateful that you were willing to, because I think it's so important.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Oh, I'm so glad. I think, yes, I think this is a really important topic and I'm glad that I was able to take some of the scariness out with you and for us to talk about it in a way that I think adds a little bit of meaning and hopefully a little bit of hope. So, I'm glad that we were able to talk about it.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Yes, me too. So for anyone listening who wants to learn a little bit more about you, stay connected. You have some wonderful resources for people, [00:35:00] not just with ADHD, but elsewhere as well. Where can they find you and what should they look out for?

 

**Jessica Stern:** Thank you. I'd say two of the biggest places you can find me are my website, which is Dr. Jessica B. Stern. B as in boy. And I've got a whole lot of information resources there. Lots more to come soon. And then you can find me on Instagram and my handle is also at Dr. Jessica B. Stern. And I've got. Some really exciting things coming up, including actually a productivity course.

 

This is like one of the first places that I'm mentioning this. So if you visit my website, you'll be able to sign up for the waitlist and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, give me a follow, interact with me. I'd love to chat with you.

 

**Amelia Kelley:** Awesome. Okay. Well, thanks for coming and be well, everyone.

 

**Jessica Stern:** Bye.