Laura Mack, a Board-Certified Health & Wellness Coach who works with adults looking to make lasting changes in their personal well-being, joins Jeanne to talk about her Limiting Beliefs and how these may be holding her back.
In this episode, Jeanne and Laura Mack discuss the impact of limiting beliefs and how they can hold us back in various aspects of our lives. They explore the origins of limiting beliefs and the role of societal and personal experiences in shaping them. The conversation delves into the specific limiting belief about money and the challenges it presents in pursuing financial success. Laura provides insights on how to overcome these beliefs and develop a positive mindset. They also discuss the importance of setting boundaries, identifying the voice of limiting beliefs, and taking small steps towards achieving goals. The episode concludes with information on how to connect with Laura Mack for further guidance and support.
Takeaways
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:33 The Impact of Limiting Beliefs
02:17 Understanding Limiting Beliefs
04:22 The Origins of Limiting Beliefs
05:59 The Limiting Belief About Money
07:24 Overcoming the Money Limiting Belief
09:24 The Conflict Between Desire and Limiting Beliefs
10:37 Identifying the Voice of Limiting Beliefs
11:38 Taming the Gremlin
12:30 Visualizing the Desired Future
14:51 Achieving Peace and Security
16:12 Overcoming Fear and Worry
17:30 Giving Back and Setting Boundaries
18:48 Responding to the Gremlin
20:15 Building Confidence and Strength
21:56 Taking Small Steps Towards Goals
26:48 Identifying and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
31:00 Reflecting on Past Successes
32:06 Breaking Goals into Actionable Steps
33:01 The Importance of Small Changes
34:26 Finding Laura Mack
35:29 Closing Remarks
Episode Links
Jeanne Retief: Blog | Instagram | FIGGI Beauty Shop | Pinterest
Laura Mack: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram
Jeanne (00:03)
Good. Okay, are you ready?
Laura Mack (00:05)
Yes, I am.
Jeanne (00:08)
Hello FIGGI Goddess and welcome to the My FIGGI Life podcast. I would love to introduce today's guest to you, Laura Mack. She's going to be talking to us about something that has shown up a lot in my life and that is limiting beliefs. Do you have limiting beliefs that held you back or may still be holding you back? Stay tuned for this episode.
Welcome back, FIGGI Goddess. I am so pleased to introduce our guest today, Laura Mack. She is a board certified health and wellness coach who works with adults looking to make lasting changes in their personal wellbeing. Her practice focuses on helping clients achieve a level of wellness that aligns with their desires, lifestyles and values so they can live their best lives. Does that sound...
Familiar to you, yes. Vicky is all about living your best life. I love that we have you on the podcast and I love that we get to talk about limiting beliefs. Welcome.
Laura Mack (01:13)
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here.
Jeanne (01:20)
So limiting beliefs have shown up quite strongly and a lot for me. And I would say if I had to guess, if I had to like really, really pinpoint one thing that has been probably the biggest stumbling block for me in my professional career, it would be limiting beliefs. And then also the biggest stumbling block in terms of my abuse recovery is limiting beliefs. And
It feels to me like it's one of those things that kind of goes with you on your journey. Like you're never really fully rid of them. It's like, it's almost like they're always kind of there. You just, um, if you have the right guide and the right mentor, you're able to recognize them and to perhaps stop your mind from going to that point. But it really is something that's so ingrained in
in the core of who we are. So before I give a little bit of background to this, can you maybe just tell us what are limiting beliefs? What are we talking about when we are talking about those words?
Laura Mack (02:31)
Eliminating beliefs, almost everyone I think has them at some level, in some capacity. And essentially, it's the story that we tell ourselves. Unfortunately, that story is often more negative than positive. We're not good enough. We're not worthy enough. We don't deserve this. We can't do this. It's all of those things.
false story that we tend to tell ourselves. There are two authors, one Taming Your Gremlin which is a fantastic book about limiting beliefs by Rick Carson and then Michael Arloski has also talked about limiting beliefs.
The gremlin or these limiting beliefs kind of operate out that point of fear. But they use fear as an acronym which stands for false evidence appearing real. So again, it's those stories that we tell ourselves that aren't necessarily true. It's just as you mentioned, we've been telling this to ourselves for so long, we start to believe that it's true.
Jeanne (03:53)
So here is an interesting thing and I've been taking quite an interesting personal growth journey these last couple of months and something I read last week kind of stuck with me and it was just the way it was explained. It was like none of us come on to this earth being pessimistic or thinking we can't do things or giving up like a baby doesn't know how to do that like a baby doesn't just go oh this talking thing is really hard I'm just not going to do it.
I'm going to quit trying to talk. You know? So where do these, where do they come from? Because it's so deeply ingrained or for me at least it was in my DNA and like my blueprint, you know? Where does it come from?
Laura Mack (04:25)
Mm-hmm.
This would be my personal opinion because I am not a psychiatrist. But essentially from what I've seen, it comes from our experiences, our life experience, things that happened to us as children, how we were raised, the people who raised us. It's kind of all those things that start to build up over our life experiences. And if you think about our formative years when we're very, very young.
Those are so significant. And when things happen, we kind of hold those feelings deep down inside forever and ever and ever until we reach a point of self-growth and we can acknowledge that those feelings are there and start to see them for what they are.
Jeanne (05:31)
Yeah, that's very true because I think I just want to jump into one of the first limiting beliefs. I think that has been a big factor for me and this is definitely like you were just saying about how you were raised and also I think for me at least a lot about society, you know, like the era that we were raised in and what you were taught not only from your parents but from your teachers and your school and your friends and the church that you go to.
Laura Mack (05:43)
Mm-hmm.
Jeanne (05:59)
And that one for me was money. Money is evil. Money is the root of all evil. Wanting more money is selfish and it's wrong and it's a sin. You know, cut to 20 years later when you're building your own company and you find yourself in a place in a space where you're working brutal hours and you're thinking to yourself, listen, I don't want to work at...
this level and at this pace just to survive. I'm working because I want to achieve something, but that achievement automatically equates to yes, money because I need money to reach some of my goals or to have medical insurance or to send my child to a good school. And that has been such a huge stumbling block for me because
It really affected the way that I priced my services, the value I put on my own time and whether or not I'm even allowed to ask money for that or for my skills or for my expertise. And it's just such a deeply ingrained thing that I really struggle with. Have you dealt with this before?
in terms of this because it feels like it's such a complicated one.
Laura Mack (07:30)
It can be, and again it sounds very much like it's not only a family but societal influence on you from when you were younger. I personally, I've experienced something similar where it's the self doubt of is anybody going to think that this is worthwhile, is this valuable to anyone else? Exactly. Yeah. Part of...
Jeanne (07:40)
Mm.
Yes, exactly. Exactly.
Laura Mack (07:58)
What has helped me to work through that is
understanding that I have a background, I have an education, I have experience that I am sharing with someone who doesn't have that. And I've been trained to kind of walk them through whatever it is they're facing. So likewise, you have an education, you have a background, you have something you are bringing to the table that no one else has.
What I'm hearing is you are looking for ways to remind yourself that it's okay. It's okay to ask people to spend money on what you're offering because you are bringing a value to whatever it is they're seeking. Does that make sense?
Jeanne (08:57)
Yeah, no, for sure. And it is like that internal narrative that you have with yourself the whole time. And then it kind of morphs into this thinking of, OK, I want this because I want more. Wanting more is selfish. Having enough is what you should be aiming for, you know, which kind of leads you directly into that whole path of desire.
Which takes you back to this whole bad conversation of money. Desiring is wrong. You shouldn't desire, you know, the whole thing in the Bible and many religions and also how I was raised, it's just not what you do. But how do you, how do you equate that? How do you make that make sense in your mind between I have goals and dreams that I would like to manifest and chase after.
Laura Mack (09:38)
Right.
Jeanne (09:55)
But I have this thing holding me back thinking that, okay, I want these goals, but I'm not allowed to achieve them or chase them within this way, but wanting more money or desiring something else. And that gets so confusing to me because at the end of the day, it always comes back to no matter how you look at it, am I deserving?
Laura Mack (10:07)
Right.
When you are having these internal conversations with yourself, who is the voice that's telling you these things when you hear that?
Jeanne (10:37)
Ooh, that's interesting. You know, I would definitely have to say that there are two main ones. I hear my mom and I hear myself. Like I get so angry. I have panic disorder. I know this is one of the key things, but I get so frustrated and angry with myself because my voice is constantly running a narrative in my head.
I'm always asking for it to just give me a break and be quiet, but those are the two ones that I'm here most prominently.
Laura Mack (11:12)
So again, referring back to the book that I mentioned earlier, Taming Your Gremlin, that's what Rick Carson calls that voice. That's your gremlin. So for the purposes of this conversation, I refer back to that because I find it's so accurate to identify that voice with a creature like that. It really resonated with me when I saw that.
Jeanne (11:22)
Yeah.
Hmm
Laura Mack (11:38)
You can kind of, when you start to look at it, at least from my perspective, when you start to think about that voice as more like a gremlin, this creature that you can tame, that you can get under control, I feel like that's the first step with taking away the power of that voice. And then another great quote that my mentor shared with me a while ago and I'm looking because I have it written down here.
Jeanne (11:58)
Mm-hmm.
Ha ha!
Laura Mack (12:08)
And I look at that every day because again, I had my own experiences with limiting beliefs. But going back to your desire and you wanting more, what is it that you are envisioning? What is the more that you are looking for?
Jeanne (12:30)
I think this is the challenge for me because I've recently changed careers in the past three years. And my expertise is very much service-based. I was in the international human rights space, which you don't get into if you want to be rich in any way. So it's not about that, you know, but I've moved over to a product-based business and I've just reached that point in my life where I feel like.
Laura Mack (12:49)
Mm-hmm.
Jeanne (12:58)
I've given so much of everything I have and also do not have to others. I would like to take everything that I've learned and everything that I've built and give to myself a little bit. So I want to be in a good financial position for me and for my daughter and for my family, I want to build a business.
Laura Mack (13:11)
Sure.
Mm-hmm.
Jeanne (13:25)
that is built on a profit model, which is not something I used to do. It's completely alien to me. And I think it comes from these limiting beliefs, which I think play a large part in the career I was in because I was always giving back and always giving back and always making sure everybody else is happy and everybody else is healthy and taken care of. And
Now I want that somebody else to be me.
Laura Mack (13:56)
Sure, absolutely. Now if you think about...
Jeanne (14:01)
By the way, I'm freaking out just by saying this to you. Like, I'm thinking, oh my God, people must think I'm so selfish.
Laura Mack (14:05)
Oh my goodness!
I don't think so at all. I'm not hearing someone being selfish when you say these things. I'm hearing, I want to achieve these things because I want to be able to take care of my family. So you're still, that caretaker is kind of driving your desire for wanting more. And that's kind of where I was going to go with this. If you think about, just kind of visualize a little bit, you've achieved where you are
Jeanne (14:27)
Hmm.
Laura Mack (14:37)
hoping to be. Your business is where you want it to be and you've achieved that level. What would that look like?
Jeanne (14:51)
Hmm. For me, I think...
Peace. It would look like peace. I think that's what I spend my entire life chasing, is that feeling of peace and security.
Laura Mack (14:57)
Okay.
It's chasing peace. Okay, okay. So what does peace and security feel like if you're living that life and try to think of it as I am here, I've reached that goal that I've, you know, whatever that dollar number is that or sorry, your own number that is that you are thinking about. Yeah.
What is your life like? What does that look like? You're at peace, you've got a sense of security. Where's your child going to school?
Jeanne (15:40)
Mm-hmm.
Laura Mack (15:43)
We'll start there.
Jeanne (15:43)
Yeah, she's going to, for me, she's going to a good school that offers her quality education and options for her future that make it so that she has options to choose from. She has places to go. It also looks like I don't have to worry, like we're okay.
Everything is okay. Everything is paid for. Everything that we have a roof over our head. We have clothes on our bodies, shoes on our feet. You know, like that worry of tomorrow. And this is what the crazy part is. Like I'm not in a situation where I necessarily have to be worrying about these things. It's just, I guess, a fear that comes from my childhood. Oh.
Laura Mack (16:40)
Mm-hmm.
Jeanne (16:41)
always being in unsecure situations with unsecure outcomes and unsecure variables, and that just completely breaks my mind.
Laura Mack (16:47)
Absolutely.
Okay, and I understand that. And I know people who have been and are going through what you're going through. So you've got this sense of peace, this sense of security, you've taken care of your family. You had mentioned something about kind of taking your experiences and when you reach
Jeanne (16:57)
Ha ha!
Laura Mack (17:25)
giving back at a certain level.
So when you think about that and your ability to give back, what does that do or how does that feel when that gremlin still starts popping up again if you think of it that way?
Jeanne (17:30)
Yes.
feels really...
For lack of a better word, frustrating and limiting. Like it's holding me back. Like it's constantly pulling me back into this old world I don't want to be a part of anymore. So, and it's like, I just want to look back and say, let me go, just, you know, loosen the grip.
Laura Mack (18:00)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, I understand that. And...
Let's try and think about kind of an inner dialogue when this gremlin pops up, it says, no, you don't deserve this. You shouldn't have this. What would the new you that you're looking at ahead say to that gremlin? Alright, I've achieved this and yes, I do deserve that. How would you phrase that for yourself?
Jeanne (18:47)
Mm-hmm.
I don't know if this is right, but I think the only way that it would work for me is if I were able to say, no, I do deserve this because without this, I won't be able to give back and I won't be able to achieve that. Because one of the examples is...
Laura Mack (19:11)
Okay.
Jeanne (19:17)
I was so frustrated in my human rights career because I was always working with donor funds and I was always beholden to their red tape and internal politics and bureaucracy. I know how to do the work, but I don't want to be limited by that anymore. In order to go out there, do the work that I know works and achieves and is well set out. I need the money to fund that myself. Otherwise I will always be beholden to these donor funds. So if I then...
Laura Mack (19:41)
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Jeanne (19:46)
The future me is able to look back and say, listen, maybe you don't need to think about it that way. Maybe you should just think about it that you deserve this because without this, you cannot achieve this dream you have to make this difference.
Laura Mack (20:08)
How does that feel when you say that out loud?
Jeanne (20:15)
A little bit scary. Like I just after I said it, I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I just said that. It's weird how much fear you have of that voice.
Laura Mack (20:22)
Boom.
Absolutely and that voice has been with you your entire life. So it's not going to quickly let go and that is an experience. That's why I have things like this quote sitting on my whiteboard in my office where I can look at it every day. It's almost like an exercise when you start a new exercise. It may be hard at first because you're learning something new or you're…
Jeanne (20:52)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Laura Mack (21:01)
making your body do something it's not used to. But the more you do it, the more you put it in practice, the easier it becomes. And just like with an exercise, as your body gets stronger, your body gets stronger.
Jeanne (21:06)
Yeah.
Laura Mack (21:17)
we'll call it your anti-Gremlin, your positive voice, get stronger.
Jeanne (21:26)
Yeah, it's like a muscle that you need to exercise. It's going to be uncomfortable in the beginning. It's going to give you a little bit of pain, but in the end, it's going to be something that feels so good in achieving. And it's interesting that we were just saying, like, you need to exercise and you need to practice to say no, or to talk, kind of talk back to this little gremlin, because I think that leads like directly into the next limiting belief. We just.
Laura Mack (21:30)
Exactly.
Jeanne (21:56)
You can't say no, because if you say no, you upset people or you disappoint people or, you know, and if it goes to something like this, where it's this voice in your head that's always been there, or for as long as you can remember, it's so ingrained in you, you're fearful and kind of light-footed of this voice and you're thinking to yourself, I can't say no, because either the voice must be right or I don't have
Laura Mack (21:57)
Exactly.
Jeanne (22:26)
support my side of the fight. You know, and it just leads you into that space of, oh gosh, how do I say no?
Laura Mack (22:28)
Mm-hmm.
It's interesting because I have similar conversations mostly with female clients. I don't have this as much with male clients but women tend to be hesitant to say no and maybe it's just because we have a care taking nature. I'm not sure what it is but we tend to feel guilty when we say no.
Jeanne (22:57)
Mm.
Laura Mack (23:10)
giving too much and not saving enough for ourselves. And I always like to use the analogy of when you're on an airplane and they're giving the safety speech and they talk about the oxygen mask and they say put the oxygen mask on first so you can be there to help others. And I use that analogy because same thing, we need to take care of ourselves first and
Jeanne (23:16)
Hmm.
Laura Mack (23:40)
setting boundaries, giving ourselves self-love, because fighting these limiting beliefs is a first step toward giving ourselves that self-love. And by doing that, we end up making ourselves stronger so that we can be there for others, and we can help take care of others and do what they need. And when I was going through my own journey, I went through very, very similar things. I remember
Jeanne (23:41)
Mm.
Laura Mack (24:07)
And mine started out simple just as far as I decided I was going to go to the gym instead of rushing home to make dinner for the family first. So dinner was a half an hour late because I went to the gym first. And then you know what happened? No one cared. My family was like, great, thanks. Dinner was delicious. And it was me getting in my...
Jeanne (24:24)
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you're late? Really?
Laura Mack (24:34)
Yeah, exactly, exactly. And all that was, it was me mentally getting in my own way. And I've seen this quite often actually.
Jeanne (24:46)
No, no, no.
Laura Mack (24:48)
It comes down to, there's a lot. What we're unpacking here and again going back to you've been dealing with this your entire life. You've been going through this your entire life. So it's not going to happen overnight but when you start setting those boundaries and it's going to be scary and it's going to be challenging especially as you interact with
family members or friends and you start changing that interaction and setting up your boundaries. It can be challenging and scary at first but as you stay true to your course, it becomes easier and you do start to feel that level of self-empowerment and then you can start taking those next steps toward making that vision come true.
Jeanne (25:35)
Mm.
Laura Mack (25:45)
making that dream come true.
Jeanne (25:50)
So what would you say for our audience listening today? And they're thinking maybe they don't share the same limiting beliefs as I do or as you do, but they have for sure they have some that they think are holding them back. How can they identify what those limiting beliefs are? Because that in itself is its own journey. Understanding why you think the way you think, right? Because I didn't immediately understand.
I have this difficulty with creating a good income for myself because I have these bad thoughts about money. I know when I say it, it sounds like super reasonable and clear, but when you're in the thick of it, you don't. So what can they do? Is there some kind of exercise or practice that they can do to recognize and identify the limiting beliefs that they may have that are causing the problems that they are experiencing?
Laura Mack (26:48)
I don't, being aware of your limiting beliefs, recognizing them for what they are is kind of the first step toward that journey toward overcoming them. And you've already achieved that first step because you're recognizing that I have these. And essentially, my recommendation is if you are desiring something and you're finding
filled with self-doubt or telling yourself this dialogue that you can't, you're not worthy, you don't deserve it, those are your limiting beliefs. And what I suggest is you stop and you take a minute and think about it. And I'm going to pull up a note here real quick.
And I think it was Rick Carson in his book came up with five steps for fighting your gremlin. So it's step one is recognizing the gremlin talk. So again, you're becoming aware of that. Then once you recognize that gremlin talk, it goes back to what we're talking about earlier. You refute what the gremlin is saying to you. Where you say, the gremlin is saying,
Jeanne (28:12)
Mm-hmm.
Laura Mack (28:12)
It's selfish for you to want money and your answer now is, if I have more money, I can do more to help more people. So that you come up with that answer. And then you start to acknowledge that the gremlin talk is just that, is just talk. And you have to keep reassuring yourself of the positive answer, the anti-gremlin.
Jeanne (28:34)
Mm-hmm.
Laura Mack (28:41)
think about where if I succeeded in the past. You know, it's, you clearly had a good career in the human rights space and I'm sure there were lots of challenges you had to overcome. Stop and think about where if I overcome challenges in the past and you can use those same skills to help overcome these limiting beliefs, these gremlins. And then finally, focus on your present.
Jeanne (28:57)
Mm-hmm.
Thanks for watching!
Laura Mack (29:11)
And one of the things I do when I work with my clients, we always start with a vision of where they want to be when we're finished with our program. And kind of like we did a little bit earlier when I was asking you, what does that look like? What's happening? How are you feeling? And then once they identify where it is that they want to go, then we start setting goals for getting there. And once we set the smaller goals, we start setting goals.
then we come up with individual action steps to achieve that. So you're facing limiting beliefs. You want something. The gremlin is like, no, you can't have it. Acknowledge it. Don't stuff it. Just acknowledge that it's there. I understand what you're saying. And then think about why it is that you want that because clearly there's something there for you to have that desire.
Jeanne (30:08)
Mm-hmm.
Laura Mack (30:09)
or your family, or in some way, there's some benefit for wanting that goal. And then define that and even write it down if it's helpful. Define what that is and that's your response to that inner voice that's holding you back. And then once you do that, formulate what it is. What's it going to look like, feel like, be like when you reach whatever it is that you desire and then start setting those goals to get there.
And the gremlin's going to be there the whole way. The more you see success, the more it's going to try and pull you back. But if you hold strong and you keep reminding yourself, no, it's okay that I want this. Like I said earlier, it's like an exercise. The more you do it, the
better it's going to be, the easier it's going to be to achieve it.
Jeanne (31:00)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, and you know what really kind of stuck for me in those points that you made was go back and think about the times where you've succeeded or where you've overcome the challenge. And I feel like not just for me, but I really feel for many women, that's a difficult part because we always forget that. For some reason, you always think you came to where you are magically, you know?
Laura Mack (31:29)
Yes.
Well...
Jeanne (31:35)
It wasn't because of your skills or your experience or your expertise or because you worked so hard or because you're worth it or you deserve it or because you've made all of these, or have all of these amazing achievements. It kind of never even comes up for you. So that was very important for me to hear that and remind myself like, but go back and look at your own history and look at where you have achieved and where you have overcome these obstacles. And
Another one that I really appreciated is that you said you go and you set goals and then you go in and you make small actionable steps to achieve those goals. And I feel like that's where a lot of self-help fails because we want something. We try, we recognize the problem. We try to fix it. We launch into it thinking, okay, we're going to ace this test. And we go for the, the big mountain first before, you know, starting with a hiking course.
Laura Mack (32:32)
Right, right, exactly. Uh huh, uh huh, exactly.
Jeanne (32:37)
Yeah, so breaking it up into these little bite sizes, like it just makes it so much more not only achievable, but palatable when you are already struggling with the idea because smaller changes and smaller changes in your mindset are easier to make than these like
big, hairy goals that you're setting for yourself and that you would eventually want to achieve, but just having a space where you can start that set you up for success instead of failure is just so, so important.
Laura Mack (33:15)
Yes, exactly. That's one of the reasons I like to call it a journey and I've mentioned that about myself when I started my journey. You think about it and the old saying, every journey starts with the first step and that's what you do. You just take those steps. And the other thing doing it that way is as you take those first steps and you achieve them, those are also confidence boosters.
Jeanne (33:25)
Mm-hmm.
Laura Mack (33:45)
because you're like, okay, I did it. I think I can do this. So you take that first step, you achieve that, and then you move on to the next one. And all those little steps, just like when you're on a hike, all those steps get you to your destination.
Jeanne (33:48)
Mmm.
Yeah. Oh gosh, that is so true. So thank you so much for joining us on this podcast today. I love talking about limiting beliefs. I could talk to you forever. But if our audience is interested in getting to know you, learning about your offering, getting in touch with you, where can they go? Where can they look for you? Where can they find
you?
Laura Mack (34:26)
Okay, so my website is leafwellnesscoaching.com and I also have pages on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram. And all of those if you just search Leaf Wellness Coaching, you can find my business pages there. And if you want to reach out to me directly, oh sorry.
Jeanne (34:47)
Awesome and as always.
It's okay, directly.
Laura Mack (34:55)
If you want to reach out directly, you can just email me at info at leafwellnesscoaching.com.
Jeanne (35:04)
Wonderful and if you are driving don't worry as always all of these links will be in the episode notes below so that you can easily access and find Laura Mack. Thank you so much for joining us on the MyFigureLife podcast. We are so honored to have spoken to you.
Laura Mack (35:21)
Thank you so much for having me. It was truly enjoyable to be here.
Jeanne (35:29)
So, goddess, remember, as always, everyone deserves to celebrate the goddess within. Until next time, here on the MyFiggyLife Podcast, it's me, Jean, and I'm saying bye for now.
Thank you so much.
Laura Mack (35:45)
You're welcome!