The Sensitivity Doctor

Stop “Being Fine”: Honoring Real Grief (and the Buckets That Help) with Rebecca Feinglos

Episode Summary

In this deeply validating episode, Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down with grief advocate and educator Rebecca Feinglos, founder of Grieve Leave. Together, they unpack what it really means to grieve—beyond the outdated five-stage model—and explore the emotional and physical toll of pushing grief aside to simply “be fine.” Rebecca shares her journey through multiple losses, from losing her mother as a teen to the sudden death of her father at the start of the pandemic, and how these experiences radically reshaped her life, relationships, and sense of identity. Through candid conversation, Rebecca introduces the concept of "grief buckets"—creative, community, nature, movement, and solo time—as ways to honor and process loss. She and Amelia also tackle disenfranchised grief, like the end of a marriage or loss of a future imagined, and why our society struggles to give space to grief in all its forms. Whether you’re navigating your own loss or supporting someone through theirs, this conversation is filled with compassion, insight, and practical tools to help you grieve in your own way.

Episode Notes

Key Takeaways:

• Grief is not a linear process with tidy stages—it’s messy, lifelong, and uniquely personal.
• Our culture often fails to acknowledge non-death grief, such as breakups, divorce, and unfulfilled life paths.
• “Grief buckets” offer a helpful framework for grieving: solo time, movement, creativity, nature, and community.
• Rituals and community support (like Jewish traditions such as shiva) are essential but often inaccessible in times of crisis—like during COVID.
• It’s okay to laugh, cry, feel numb, or be joyful while grieving. Emotions don’t have to make sense to be valid.
• Grief support must go beyond therapy—it’s a societal responsibility to normalize and hold space for grief in daily life.