The Sensitivity Doctor

Why Men Fear Women with Gary Katz

Episode Summary

In this vulnerable and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Amelia Kelley is joined once again by therapist and founder of The Center for Intimacy Recovery, Gary Katz. Together, they explore the complex and often unspoken topic of why men fear women—and how this fear shapes emotional intimacy, communication, and connection in relationships. Gary dives into the early conditioning boys receive around emotions, shame, and masculinity, and how this leads many men to disconnect from their inner emotional world. They discuss common shame responses like anger and withdrawal, how fear of vulnerability leads to emotional avoidance, and the pressure many men feel to either “get big” or shut down. Amelia and Gary also talk about what it means to be a strong woman in relationship with a sensitive man—and how emotional safety and honest communication are essential for true intimacy. This is a must-listen for anyone raising boys, partnered with men, or doing the personal work of unpacking gendered conditioning around power, vulnerability, and connection.

Episode Notes

Key Takeaways:

• Boys are often socialized to suppress feelings and disconnect from vulnerability—creating long-term emotional impacts.
• Fear of women is often rooted in deeper fears of being controlled, abandoned, or exposed emotionally.
• Men are typically taught only two “acceptable” emotions: anger and sexual desire—leading to miscommunication and emotional disconnection.
• Casual vulnerability—sharing small truths in real time—can be more effective than waiting for the “right moment.”
• Emotional safety allows both partners to show up more fully and authentically in their relationships.
• Raising emotionally aware boys requires involvement from both parents—and male role models who normalize sensitivity and self-awareness.
• There’s no one “right” way to be a man—emotional literacy is individual, not gendered.

Links Mentioned:
The Mask You Live In

Connect with Gary Katz:
Website
Instagram
LinkedIn